354 Thought-provoking Quotes by Dean of Science Fiction Robert A. Heinlein

Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you.

The best things in history are accomplished by people who get tired of being shoved around.

Never tease an old dog; he might have one bite left.

The coldest depth of Hell is reserved for people who abandon kittens.

Never try to outstubborn a cat.

Money problems can always be solved by a man not frightened by them.

Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

I've never been able to understand 'faith' myself, nor to see how a just God could expect his creatures to pick the one true religion out of an infinitude of false ones -- by faith alone. It strikes me as a sloppy way to run an organization, whether universe or a smaller one.

Butterflies are self-propelled flowers. Robert A.

Man is not a rational animal he is a rationalizing animal. Robert A.

It was the greatest sensation of existence: not to trust but to know. Ayn RandYou can go wrong by being too skeptical as readily as by being too trusting. Robert A.

I never learned from a man who agreed with me.

Belief gets in the way of learning. Robert A.

Logic proved that airplanes can't fly and that H-bombs won't work and that stones don't fall out of the sky. Logic is a way of saying that anything which didn't happen yesterday won't happen tomorrow.

Luck is a result of careful preparation, failure is a result of negligence.

When One Teaches, Two Learn.

Goodness without wisdom always accomplishes evil.

One man's magic is another man's engineering. Supernatural is a null word.

Love is a that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy.

Never try to have the last word. You might get it.

Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it.

How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven.

Abstract knowledge is always useful, sooner or later.

Decency is not news. It is buried in the obituaries, but it is a force stronger than crime.

Don't ever become a pessimist a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.

Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.

Man is what he is, a wild animal with the will to survive, and so far the ability, against all competition.

Citizenship is an attitude, a state of mind, an emotional conviction that the whole is greater than the part. and that the part should be humbly proud to sacrifice itself that the whole may live.

In a mature society, 'civil servant' is semantically equal to 'civil master'.

Anybody can see a pretty girl. An artist can look at a pretty girl and see the old woman she will become. A better artist can look at an old woman and see the pretty girl she used to be.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. You waste your time and you annoy the pig.

Once a month, some women act like men act all the time.

Many older physicians had gone to their graves calling Pasteur a liar, a fool, or worse -- -and without examining evidence which their common sense told them was impossible.

The slickest way in the world to lie is to tell the right amount of truth at the right time-and then shut up.

In a society in which it is a moral offense to be different from your neighbor your only escape is to never let them find out.

Stupidity cannot be cured. Stupidity is the only universal capital crime; the sentence is death. There is no appeal, and execution is carried out automatically and without pity.

Gratitude: An imaginary emotion that rewards an imaginary behavior, altruism. Both imaginaries are false faces for selfishness, which is a real and honest emotion.

'Is this Paradise?'
'I can guarantee you that it isn't,' Jubal assured him. 'My taxes are due this week.'

Autobiography is usually honest but it is never truthful.

I would say that my position is not too far from that of Ayn Rand's; that I would like to see government reduced to no more than internal police and courts, external armed forces -- with the other matters handled otherwise. I'm sick of the way government sticks its nose in everything, now.

Of all the creatures on this planet none is more dangerous than a human being.

I counted to ten slowly, using binary notation.

Government! Three fourths parasitic and the other fourth Stupid fumbling.

The moral difference between a soldier and a civilian is that the soldier accepts personal responsibility for the safety of the body politic of which he is a member. The civilian does not.

On the steps of the Federal Building we ran into Carmencita Ibanez, a classmate of ours and one of the nice things about being a member of a race with two sexes.

Magic is not science, it is a collection of ways to do things ways that work but often we don't know why.

The trouble with conspiracies is that they rot internally.

Almost all crime depends on the acquiescence of the victim. If the victim refuses his assigned role, the criminal is placed at a disadvantage -- one so severe, that it usually takes an understanding and compassionate judge to set things right. I had broken the rules. I had fought back.

How is a sincere criminal, trying hard, going to get ahead in his profession if his victim fails to cooperate?

Cast me into a dungeon, burn me at the stake, crown me king of kings, I can 'pursue happiness' as long as my brain lives -- but neither gods nor saints, wise men nor subtle drugs, can ensure that I will catch it.

The greatest fallacy of democracy is that everyone's opinion is worth the same.

When you read about chemistry and physics, you want to do them too.

Expertise in one field does not carry over into other fields. But experts often think so. The narrower their field of knowledge the more likely they are to think so.

In Wilson's scale of evaluations breakfast rated just after life itself and ahead of the chance of immortality.

He ate what was set before him.

Patriotism is not sentimental nonsense. Nor something dreamed up by demagogues. Patriotism is as necessary a part of man's evolutionary equipment as are his eyes, as useful to the race as eyes are to the individual.

Its very variety, subtlety, and utterly irrational, idiomatic complexity makes it possible to say things in English which simply cannot be said in any other language.

Gratitude is a euphemism for resentment.

Formal courtesy between husband and wife is even more important than it is between strangers.

A managed democracy is a wonderful thing... for the managers... and its greatest strength is a 'free press' when 'free' is defined as 'responsible' and the managers define what is 'irresponsible'.

But, do you know, once you get used to it's rather cute. I mean, if a girl looks alright to start with, she still looks alright with her head smooth.

Marrying Gretchen is a good idea, darling; I would enjoy bringing her up. Teaching her to shoot, helping her with her first baby, coaching her in how to handle a knife, working out with her in martial arts, all the homey domestic skills a girl needs in this modern world.

A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

A committee is the only known form of life with a hundred bellies and no brain.

Library science was the foundation of all sciences.

Some things, the more you understand the more you loathe them.

When it don't rain, the roof don't leak; when it rains, I can't fix it nohow.

The meek shall inherit the earth -- a 6 foot plot above them.

There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.

Seems to be a deep instinct in human beings for making everything compulsory that isn't forbidden.

Damnit! Nationalism should stop at the stratosphere!

If you do not believe that a man will commit murder for one can of tomatoes, then you have never been hungry.

Certain types of loudmouthism should be a capital offense among decent people.

I was not offended, my love. An insult is like a drink; it affects one only if accepted. And pride is too heavy baggage for my journey.

Decency is not news; it is buried in the obituaries -- but it is a force stronger than crime.

I was there to see beautiful naked women. So was everybody else. It's a common failing.

It's up to the artist to use language that can be understood, not hide it in some private code... obscurity is usually the refuge of incompetence.

Obscurity is the refuge of incompetence.

I don't gamble, if you will concede that poker is a game of skill.

Drop dead-but first get permit.

Every general prohibition creates its bootleggers.

Property is not the natural and obvious and inevitable concept that most people think it is.

Whores perform the same function as priests, but far more thoroughly.

The Colorado River was at a record low and the towers in Lake Mead stood high out of the water. But the Angelenos committed communal suicide by watering lawns as usual.

Men are not potatoes!

Unless you intend to kill him immediately thereafter, never kick a man in the balls. Not even symbolically. Or perhaps especially not symbolically.

If men were the automatons that behaviorists claim they are, the behaviorist psychologists could not have invented the amazing nonsense called 'behaviorist psychology.'

Brainpower is the scarcest commodity and the only one of real value.

Never own more than you can carry in both hands at a dead run.

My old man claimed that the more complicated the law the more opportunity for scoundrels.

Marriage is a psychological condition, not a civil contract and a license. Once a marriage is dead, it is dead, and it begins to stink faster than a dead fish.

Everybody else specializes. Daddy knows everything, and he puts the pieces together.

I am only an egg.

There will always be survivors.

'Private,' he said firmly. 'Family matter. Go have a drink.'
'Whose family?'
'A death in yours, if you insist.'

Please don't invent a debt that does not exist, or next you will be trying to feel gratitude -- and that is the treacherous first step toward complete moral degradation.

Wisdom includes not getting angry unnecessarily. The Law ignores trifles and the wise man does, too.

Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow if tomorrow might improve the odds.

You have attributed conditions to villainy that simply result from stupidity.

It is almost impossible to shake of one's earliest training. Duke, can you get it through your skull that had you been brought up by Martians, you would have the same attitude toward eating and being eaten as Mike has.

Anything free costs twice as much in the long run or turns out worthless.

Every law that was ever written opened up a new way to graft.

Take sides! Always take sides! You will sometimes be wrong -- but the man who refuses to take sides must always be wrong.

Patriotism is not 'my country right or wrong'; patriotism means loving the ideals for which America stands and having the courage to speak up when these ideals are distorted for personal or political gain. The American government was instituted to be the servant of the people, not our master.

As it says in Bible, God fights on side of heaviest artillery.

If Satan should ever replace God he would find it necessary to assume the attributes of Divinity.

If I had a Boy Scout I could make a fire by rubbing his hind legs together.

Democracy is four wolves and a sheep voting on dinner.

The nice thing about citing god as an authority is that you can prove anything you set out to prove.

The police of a state should never be stronger or better armed than the citizenry. An armed citizenry, willing to fight, is the foundation of civil freedom. That's a personal evaluation, of course.

You were probably educated in the conventional economic theories of your period which were magnificent and most ingenious, but -- if you will pardon my saying so -- all wrong.

Customs, morals -- is there a difference?

Customs tell a man who he is, where he belongs, what he must do. Better illogical customs than none; men cannot live together without them.

Roman matrons used to say to their sons: 'Come back with your shield or on it.'

Sin is cruelty and injustice, all else is peccadillo. Oh, a sense of sin comes from violating the customs of your tribe. But breaking custom is not sin even when it feels so; sin is wronging another person.

Rarest of all is the man who can and does reason at all times, quickly, accurately, inclusively, despite hope or fear or bodily distress, without egocentric bias or thalmic disturbance, with correct memory, with clear distinction between fact, assumption, and non-fact.

Peace is an extension of war by political means. Plenty of elbow-room is pleasanter -- and much safer.

You can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him.

Money is the sincerest of all flattery. Women love to be flattered. So do men.

All normal human beings have soi-disant mixed-up glands. The race is divided into two parts: those who know this and those who do not.

The first principle of freedom is the right to go to hell in your own handbasket.

I don't see why human people make such a heavy trip out of sex. It isn't anything complex, it is simply the best thing in life, even better than food.

There is no such thing as 'social gambling.' Either you are there to cut the other bloke's heart out and eat it -- or you're a sucker. If you don't like this choice -- don't gamble.

Widows are far better than brides. They don't tell, they won't yell, they don't swell, they rarely smell, and they're grateful as hell.

In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it.

It is impossible for a man to love his wife whole heartedly without loving all women somewhat. I suppose that the converse must be true of women.

A dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot.

From the strictest humanitarian viewpoint, any attempt to stop the processes by which over crowded cities purge themselves is not a kindness.

Ability is a wonderful thing, but its value is greatly enhanced by dependability. Ability implies repeatability and accountability.

Circumstances can force your hand. So think ahead!

At one time kings were anointed by Deity, so the problem was to see to it that Deity chose the right candidate. In this age the myth is the will of the people ... but the problem changes only superficially.

Everything is theoretically impossible, until it is done. One could write a history of science in reverse by assembling the solemn pronouncements of highest authority about what could not be done and could never happen.

Revolutions are not won by enlisting the masses. Revolution is a science for the few who are competent to practice it. It depends on correct organisation and above all, on communications.

Happiness consists in getting enough sleep. Just that, nothing more.

My folks tried to make a preacher of me and missed by a narrow margin… I would have made a good one if I hadn't fallen into the fatal folly of reading anything I could lay hands on. With just a touch more self confidence and a liberal helping of ignorance I could have been a famous evangelist.

Everybody lies about sex.

But when they began handing out doctorates for comparative folk dancing and advanced fly-fishing, I became too stink in' proud to use the title. I won't touch watered whiskey and I take no pride in watered-down degrees.

Take care of the cojones and the frijoles will take care of themselves. Try to have getaway money -- but don't be fanatic about it.

Why do some people act as if making money offended their delicate minds? I am out for a legitimate profit, and not ashamed of it; the fact that people will pay money for my goods and services shows that my work is useful.

Teaching causes people to go into situations from which they cannot escape, except by thinking. Do not handicap children by making their lives easy.

The average bloke ... hates and fears all freedom, not only for others but for himself, and stamps it out wherever possible.

Sin lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other sins are invented nonsense.

Freedom is a hard habit to break.

All human behavior, all human motivations, all man's hopes and fears, were heavily colored and largely controlled by mankind's tragic and oddly beautiful pattern of reproduction.

Whether the authorities be invaders or merely local tyrants, the effect of such gun control laws is to place the individual at the mercy of the state, unable to resist.

Faith is intellectual laziness.

Revolution is an art that I pursue rather than a goal I expect to achieve. Nor is this a source of dismay; a lost cause can be as spiritually satisfying as a victory.

Learn to say No--and to be rude about it when necessary. Otherwise you will not have time to carry out your duty, or to do your own work, and certainly no time for love and happiness. The termites will nibble away your life and leave none of it for you.

Death is the lot of us all, and the only way that the human race has ever conquered death is by treating it with contempt. By living every golden minute as if one had all Eternity.

It seems to me that the secret of true happiness in life is to know what you are and then be content to be that, in style, head up and proud, and not yearn to be something else.

Pessimist by policy, optimist by temperament- it is possible to be both. How? By never taking an unnecessary chance and by minimizing the risks you can't avoid. This permits you to play out the game untroubled by the certainty of the outcome.

Learning isn't a means to an end; it is an end in itself.

Since survival is the sine qua non, I now define the moral behavior as behavior that tends toward survival.

Selfishness is the bedrock on which all moral behavior starts and it can be immoral only when it conflicts with a higher moral imperative.

There is no such thing as luck; there is only adequate or inadequate preparation to cope with a statistical universe.

I have spent too much of my life opening doors for cats--I once calculated that, since the dawn of civilization, nine hundred and seventy-eight man-centuries have been used up that way. I could show you figures.

Physicians had gone to their graves calling Pasteur a liar, a fool, or worse--without examining evidence which their common sense told them was impossible.

Each generation thinks it invented sex; each generation is totally mistaken. Anything along that line today was commonplace both in Pompeii and in Victorian England; the differences lie only in the degree of coverup -- if any.

Never cast pearls before swine.

Democracy is a poor system; the only thing that can be said for it is that it's eight times as good as any other method.

Logic is a feeble reed, friend. Logic proved that airplanes can't fly and that H-bombs won't work and that stones don't fall out of the sky. Logic is a way of saying that anything which didn't happen yesterday won't happen tomorrow.

Are you trying to tell all of us we have a bad signal-to-noise ratio?

Mother had the social restraint of an ambassador.

Never appeal to a man's 'better nature.' He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Always tell her she is beautiful, especially if she is not.

We learned not to waste ammo even on warriors except in self-protection.

Small change can often be found under seat cushions.

Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.

Death isn't funny. Then why are there so many jokes about death? Jill, with us -- us humans -- death is so sad that we must laugh at it.

What we think of as 'Physical beauty' is almost certainly a tag for a complex of useful survival characteristics. Smartness -- intelligence -- among them.

You can't believe what a lovely planet we have until you see her from outside.

Allie, what do the Stars tell me to do? You know I don't understand the scientific part.

I've never understood how God could expect His creatures to pick the one true religion by faith-it strikes me as a sloppy way to run a universe.

Self awareness is not just a bunch of amino acids bumping together.

Christ was crucified for preaching without a police permit.

I've found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts so much ... because it's the only thing that'll make it stop hurting.

Faith strikes me as intellectual laziness.

The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with those three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots.

The basic of all morality is duty, a concept with the same relation to group that self-interest has to individual.

He's as weird as snake's suspenders but sweet as a stolen kiss, too.

You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.

Random chance was not a sufficient explanation of the Universe -- -in fact, random chance was not sufficient to explain random chance; the pot could not hold itself.

Men rarely if ever dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.