photo of Mark TwainPhoto Credit: WikiMedia Commons

Quotes by Mark Twain

Welcome to our collection of quotes (with shareable picture quotes) by Mark Twain. We hope you enjoy pondering them and that you will share them widely.

Wikipedia Summary for Mark Twain

Samuel Langhorne Clemens (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910), known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer. He was lauded as the "greatest humorist the United States has produced," and William Faulkner called him "the father of American literature". His novels include The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876) and its sequel, the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884), the latter often called "The Great American Novel".

Twain was raised in Hannibal, Missouri, which later provided the setting for Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. He served an apprenticeship with a printer and then worked as a typesetter, contributing articles to the newspaper of his older brother Orion Clemens. He later became a riverboat pilot on the Mississippi River before heading west to join Orion in Nevada. He referred humorously to his lack of success at mining, turning to journalism for the Virginia City Territorial Enterprise. His humorous story, "The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County", was published in 1865, based on a story that he heard at Angels Hotel in Angels Camp, California, where he had spent some time as a miner. The short story brought international attention and was even translated into French. His wit and satire, in prose and in speech, earned praise from critics and peers, and he was a friend to presidents, artists, industrialists, and European royalty.

Twain earned a great deal of money from his writings and lectures, but he invested in ventures that lost most of it—such as the Paige Compositor, a mechanical typesetter that failed because of its complexity and imprecision. He filed for bankruptcy in the wake of these financial setbacks, but in time overcame his financial troubles with the help of Henry Huttleston Rogers. He eventually paid all his creditors in full, even though his bankruptcy relieved him of having to do so. Twain was born shortly after an appearance of Halley's Comet, and he predicted that he would "go out with it" as well; he died the day after the comet made its closest approach to the Earth.

Quote: A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of high-angle photography of mountain at sunset
Photo Credit: Casey Horner

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful.


Quote: Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of two dogs sitting on maroon area rug
Photo Credit: Jay Wennington

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.


Quote: Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of long exposure photography of trees
Photo Credit: Christian Wiediger

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. As in the words of Wayne Dyer, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Sometimes to know with certainty that a particular thing is "true", will actually be the very thing that keeps you from attaining the things you seek to achieve.


Quote: The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of sunset
Photo Credit: DiscoverQuotes Staff

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.


Quote: A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of woman and man holding hands
Photo Credit: Roman Kraft

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. There is nothing more satisfying than that sense of being completely "at home" in your own skin. When you achieve that as a natural state of "being", then you can finally look beyond yourself and fully contribute all your talents to the world.


Quote: If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of fawn pug standing on textile
Photo Credit: Pinho .

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.


Quote: Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of blue rose in close up photography
Photo Credit: Cmst May

Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.


Quote: An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of sunset
Photo Credit: DiscoverQuotes Staff

An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere.


Quote: I can last two months on a good compliment. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of sunset
Photo Credit: DiscoverQuotes Staff

I can last two months on a good compliment.


Quote: Sacred cows make the best hamburger. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of cup of coffee
Photo Credit: Sincerely Media

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.


Quote: God created war so that Americans would learn geography. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of black and gold metal coin operated telescope
Photo Credit: Anton Polidovets

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.


Quote: I am only human, although I regret it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of kitten lying on red and white quatrefoil textile
Photo Credit: Jonathan Fink

I am only human, although I regret it.


Quote: I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of pink heart art
Photo Credit: Kelly Sikkema

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.


All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. You can "already know for sure" things that could actually impede progress. Always be on the lookout for the things you did not know, that you did not know. Secondly, work on strengthening personal belief that a particular will be achieved regardless of any adversity that may show up, or evidence to the contrary.


Quote: Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of sunset highway
Photo Credit: DiscoverQuotes Staff

Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities..


Quote: I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of brown and white butterfly on purple petaled flower
Photo Credit: Aaron Burden

I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.


Quote: The truth hurts, but silence kills. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of two person on the tunnel
Photo Credit: Jason Lam

The truth hurts, but silence kills.


Quote: Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of orange and white floor tiles
Photo Credit: dylan nolte

Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done.


Quote: Architects cannot teach nature anything. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of gray wooden house on green plains near mountain range at daytime
Photo Credit: Karsten Würth

Architects cannot teach nature anything.


Quote: Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of landscape photography of trees
Photo Credit: Nathan Anderson

Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.


Quote: He gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of couple sitting on sand during daytime
Photo Credit: claudia lam

He gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.


Quote: Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of yellow sunflowers under white clouds and blue sky
Photo Credit: Yoshi Sugimoto

Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.


Quote: Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of dog on pier at water

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.


Quote: The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of silhouette of three people up on mountain cliff
Photo Credit: Karl Magnuson

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.


Quote: Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of silhouette of person standing beside bare tree under stary sky
Photo Credit: Vincent Chin

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.


Quote: When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of silhouette of man standing on hill during starry night
Photo Credit: Joshua Earle

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.


Quote: Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of green trees under white sky during daytime
Photo Credit: Fabio Fistarol

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.


Quote: The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of labrador dog beach wallpaper
Photo Credit: Elisa Kennemer

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.


Quote: A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of cute dog on street night scene wallpaper
Photo Credit: Yura Ryzhov

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.


Quote: Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of lit candle in focus photography
Photo Credit: Anjo Antony

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.


Quote: Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of close-up photograph of black dreadnought acoustic guitar
Photo Credit: Taya Iv

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.


Quote: Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of sunset
Photo Credit: DiscoverQuotes Staff

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.


Quote: Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and a body ain’t got no business doing wrong when he ain’t ignorant and knows better. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and a body ain’t got no business doing wrong when he ain’t ignorant and knows better.


Quote: A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.


Quote: Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.


Quote: Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size.


Quote: Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.


Quote: The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.




Quote: Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are pliable. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are pliable.


Quote: I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.


Quote: The less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it


Quote: The lack of money is the root of all evil. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The lack of money is the root of all evil.


Quote: We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents.


Quote: When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction.


Quote: Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles; it will make clear and simple many things which are involved in haunting and harassing difficulties and obscurities now. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles; it will make clear and simple many things which are involved in haunting and harassing difficulties and obscurities now.


Quote: Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.


Quote: Write what you know. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Write what you know.


Quote: It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want—oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so! by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want—oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!


Quote: Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.


Quote: Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.


Quote: Don't wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she returns to her bitter reality by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Don't wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she returns to her bitter reality


Quote: The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.


Quote: Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.


Quote: It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.


Quote: When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.


Quote: When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books, for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books, for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.


Quote: The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it he knows too little. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it he knows too little.


Quote: Write without pay until somebody offers to pay. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.


Quote: Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.


Quote: He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.


Quote: The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.


Quote: Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.


Quote: Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.


Quote: Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.


Quote: That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.


Quote: Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.


Quote: Comparison is the death of joy. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Comparison is the death of joy.


Quote: Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.


Quote: Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.


Quote: The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot.


Quote: The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.


Quote: When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.


Quote: Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts or happenings. It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever flowing through one's head. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts or happenings. It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever flowing through one's head.


Quote: Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.


Quote: I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.


Quote: Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.


Quote: Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.


Quote: Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.


Quote: What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.


Quote: There isn't time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

There isn't time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that.


Quote: Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.


Quote: When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.


Quote: Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.


Quote: Be good and you will be lonesome. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Be good and you will be lonesome.


Quote: Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it? by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?


Quote: In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.


Quote: A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful.


Quote: Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.


Quote: There's one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he's crooked. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

There's one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he's crooked.


Quote: A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.


Quote: Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.


Quote: Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.


Quote: Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living.


Quote: The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.


Quote: Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.


Quote: If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.


Quote: In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.


Quote: It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.


Quote: There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.


Quote: It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.


Quote: It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt


Quote: My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.


Quote: It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.


Quote: Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.


Quote: All right, then, I'll go to hell. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

All right, then, I'll go to hell.


Quote: Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.


Quote: There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.


Quote: Reality can be beaten with enough imagination. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.


Quote: Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.


Quote: Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.


Quote: I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.


Quote: There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.


Quote: If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it.


Quote: Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.


Quote: The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.


Quote: The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.


Quote: Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.


Quote: The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.


Quote: Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.


Quote: The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.


Quote: It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.


Quote: I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up! by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!


Quote: Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.


Quote: Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.


Quote: When angry, count four. When very angry, swear. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.


Quote: To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.


Quote: I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.


Quote: April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.


Quote: Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.




Quote: The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.


Quote: If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.


Quote: Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.


Quote: History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme.


Quote: The secret to getting ahead is getting started. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The secret to getting ahead is getting started.


Quote: The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.


Quote: The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.


Quote: You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help? by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of Mark Twain quote; white text on black background

You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?


Quote: Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.


Quote: Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.


Quote: I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.


Quote: It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.


Quote: Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.


Quote: The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.


Quote: Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.


Quote: Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.


Quote: If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.


Quote: Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.


Quote: You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.


Quote: Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.


Quote: When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.


Quote: What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.


Quote: Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.


Quote: Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.


Quote: Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.


Quote: Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.


Quote: The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. ’tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. ’tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.


Quote: But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most? by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?


Quote: Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.


Quote: I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.


Quote: Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.


Quote: Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.


Quote: In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.


Quote: Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.


Quote: Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.


Quote: A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.


Quote: I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.


Quote: Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.


Quote: Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect). by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).


Quote: If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.


Quote: A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety-and-nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stock snuggles into your heart in the same way. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety-and-nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stock snuggles into your heart in the same way.


Quote: Everything has its limit -- iron ore cannot be educated into gold. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Everything has its limit -- iron ore cannot be educated into gold.


Quote: A little citizenship ought to be taught at the mother's knee and in the nursery. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A little citizenship ought to be taught at the mother's knee and in the nursery.


Quote: Good citizenship would teach accuracy of thinking and accuracy of statement. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Good citizenship would teach accuracy of thinking and accuracy of statement.


Quote: A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it.


Quote: A man with a hump backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross eyed aunt. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A man with a hump backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross eyed aunt.


Quote: Every one is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Every one is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.


Quote: A man will do many things to get himself loved. He will do all things to get himself envied. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A man will do many things to get himself loved. He will do all things to get himself envied.


Quote: A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public.


Quote: Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.


Quote: Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.


Quote: A jay hasn't got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray; and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A jay hasn't got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray; and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.


Quote: A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.


Quote: An ecstasy is a thing that will not go into words; it feels like music. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

An ecstasy is a thing that will not go into words; it feels like music.


Quote: Custom is petrification, nothing but dynamite can dislodge it for a century. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Custom is petrification, nothing but dynamite can dislodge it for a century.


Quote: I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.


Quote: Half of the results of a good intentions are evil; half the results of an evil intention are good. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Half of the results of a good intentions are evil; half the results of an evil intention are good.


Quote: All human rules are more or less idiotic. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

All human rules are more or less idiotic.


Quote: In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience.


Quote: A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it.


Quote: I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts.


Quote: Everybody's private motto: It's better to be popular than right. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Everybody's private motto: It's better to be popular than right.


Quote: An injurious truth has no merit over an injurious lie. Neither should ever be uttered. The man who speaks an injurious truth, lest his soul be not saved if he do otherwise, should reflect that that sort of a soul is not strictly worth saving. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

An injurious truth has no merit over an injurious lie. Neither should ever be uttered. The man who speaks an injurious truth, lest his soul be not saved if he do otherwise, should reflect that that sort of a soul is not strictly worth saving.


Quote: I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education.


Quote: Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination? by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?


Quote: A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having.


Quote: Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information.


Quote: I deal with temptation by yielding to it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I deal with temptation by yielding to it.


Quote: A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes.


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