Quotes by Mae West

A man's kiss is his signature.

A hard man is good to find.

The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

Men are easy to get but hard to keep.

I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they're smitten. Some of them go temporarily insane. They find a person who they think holds the key to their happiness-the only key to their happiness... My work has always been my greatest happiness.

You know, it was a toss up whether I go in for diamonds or sing in the choir. The choir lost.

They say love is blind...and marriage is an institution. Well, I'm not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.

He who hesitates is last.

Women are as old as they feel -- and men are old when they lose their feelings.

A woman in love can't be reasonable -- or she probably wouldn't be in love.

Hiring someone to write your autobiography is like hiring someone to take a bath for you.

Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!
Goodness had nothing to do with it.

Hollywood was like a mouse being followed by a cat called television.

I go for two kinds of men. The kind with muscles, and the kind without.

Men are not realists -- only women are.

A man has more character in his face at forty than at twenty -- he has suffered longer.

I'm the girl that works at Paramount all day, and Fox all night.

I've always had a weakness for foreign affairs.

What's life good fer anyhow? The minute you crawl into the world for no good reason of yer own, it's got you licked four ways from the ace.

Never ask a man where he has been.

Girls, give all your gentlemen friends an even break, even if you have to break them in the attempt.

Why don't you come up sometime 'n see me? I'm home every evening... Come up. I'll tell your fortune... Ah, you can be had.

Come up and see me sometime.

I don't know a lot about politics, but I can recognise a good party man when I see one.

I'm a good woman for a bad man.

Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made was a flag.

On the metaphysical: ... I knew in some marvelous way I had touched the hem of the unknown. And being me, I wanted to lift that hemline a little bit more.

A man in love is like a clipped coupon -- it's time to cash in.

Woman: You certainly know the way to a man's heart. Mae West: Funny, too, 'cause I don't know how to cook.

Life's just a merry-go-round. Come on up. You might get a brass ring.

The curve is more powerful than the sword.

It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect.

Love is like a booger, you pick and pick at it. Then when you get it you wonder how to get rid of it.

I meet a man with a thousand dollars and leave him with two; that's the meaning of subtraction.

I like my clothes tight enough to show I'm a woman, but loose enough to show I'm a lady.

Dating means two things; disillusionment or a racing heart.

Women want certain things in marriage -- the right to a title and a front seat in the lap of luxury.

I believe that one day the world will judge the witch hunt against homosexuals just as harshly as it judges the Spanish Inquisition and the Holocaust.

You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.

All the raves were just words. You don't want to let words confuse you. Words come cheap.

I never needed Panavision and stereophonic sound to woo the world. I did it in black and white on a screen the size of a postage stamp. Honey, that's talent.

Don't ever make the same mistake twice unless it pays.

Marriage? I ain't got time for a husband or child. All my life I've looked after myself as if I was my own child.

Men would wither and custom stale them, but diamonds! Ah, they were crystallized immortality!

Ya know it was a toss-up whether I go in for diamonds or sing in the choir. The choir lost.

When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin.

You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.

A man in the house is worth two on the street.

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Dress gives one the outward sign from which people in general can, and often do, judge upon the inward state of mind and feelings.

Too many girls follow the line of least resistance, but a good line is hard to resist.

Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.

Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em.

I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit.

Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -- and another, in case it doesn't rain.

One more drink and I'll be under the host.

It's not the men in your life that matters, it's the life in your men.

Look your best -- who said love is blind?

Words should be used as tools of communication and not as a substitute for action.

Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes.

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Never mind about the six feet. Let's talk about the seven inches.

The best way to behave is to misbehave.

I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss, de meaner I get.

Women are like roads. The more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.

Well behaved women do not make history.

Flattery will get you everywhere.

March isn't the only thing that's in like a lion and out like a lamb.

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

No gold-digging for me; I take diamonds! We may be off the gold standard someday.

Diamonds talk, and I can stand listenin' to 'em often.

I have always felt a gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself.

Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? (She made this remark in February 1936, at the railway station in Los Angeles upon her return from Chicago, when a Los Angeles police officer was assigned to escort her home).

I'd like to see Paris before I die.

I always did like a man in uniform. And that one fits you grand. Why don't you come up sometime and see me?

I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them.

Love isn't an emotion or an instinct -- it's an art.

Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.

There are no good girls gone wrong -- just bad girls found out.

You are never too old to become younger.

We must fall in love with ourselves. I don't like myself. I'm crazy about myself.

I've been in more laps than a napkin.

I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.

Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.

I enjoyed the courtroom as just another stage but not so amusing as Broadway.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

It takes two to get one in trouble.

It's not what I do, but the way I do it. It's not what I say, but the way I say it.

He who hesitates is a damned fool.

Any time you've got nothing to do and lots of time to do it come on up.

Don't marry a man to reform him -- that's what reform schools are for.

Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

I believe that it's better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.

I like a man who's good, but not too good -- for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.

I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far.

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

Virtue has its own reward, but no sale at the box office.

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

It isn't what I do, but how I do it. It isn't what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.

Cultivate your curves -- they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.

Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.

Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired.

It ain't no sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don't break any.

A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's subtraction.

I always say, keep a diary and someday it'll keep you.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

One and one is two, and two and two is four, and five will get you ten if you know how to work it.

When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

Personality is the most important thing to an actress's success.

Sex is emotion in motion.

An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.

To err is human, but it feels divine.

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.